vodka christmas cake recipe

Once again this year, I have received many requests for my vodka Christmas cake recipe so here goes.

Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year. Made mine this morning. 

the ingredients

1 c sugar

1 t baking powder

1 c water

1 t salt

1 c brown sugar

lemon juice

4 eggs

1/2 c nuts

1 bottle vodka

2 c dried fruit

the method

Sample a cup of vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality then repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point, it is best to make sure the vodka is still OK. Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it.

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the vodka to test for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the vodka. Now shit shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

Finish the vodka and wipe the counter with the cat.

tips and techniques
If you have a sphynx, wrap him in paper towels before wiping the counter

summer bucket list

Every summer, Madison undergoes a dramatic transformation: most students leave town to spend the summers elsewhere. Grown-ups across the area reclaim the city and every glorious event and activity it has to offer. In an effort to capitalize...

get it?

... on the coolest of the cool stuff available to us, I made a summer bucket list and broke it down into three convenient categories: eat, drink, and be merry.

eat

1. The Dane County Farmers Market professes to be the largest in the country. Amen, Sconnies. Most summer Saturdays you'll find me strolling the sidewalks and interacting with vendors and fellow food shoppers (including buyers for Madison's best restaurants).

2. I love grilling food, especially lemons along with with any type of fish...

this was grilled trout and lemons

... so this summer's Bucket List includes many opportunities to indulge that hobby.

drink

3. The Grumpy Troll, a locally famous brew-pub located in Mt Horeb, WI, has a reputation for excellent beers, food, and service. Best of all, it's conveniently located among some of the country's best road-biking trails and country roads. More on road biking later.

4. New Glarus is just 15 minutes away, is the home to a well-known brewery, and last weekend the quaint little town hosted a BBC (Beer, Bacon, and Cheese) Festival. My friend Johnny's bacon-making start-up, Ppork, secured a booth so a couple girlfriends and I stopped by to show our support and taste some awesome food. Crossed one off the summer bucket list already!**

mmmbacon

5. University of Wisconsin famously has one of the best outdoor drinking establishments known to humankind: Memorial Union Terrace. Let's go listen to some rad live music and watch the sun set behind sail boats.

Oh, and they allow Monkeys! 

6. Wollersheim Winery offers tours and tastings at very reasonable prices. (We're talking $2 to $5!!!) John expressed interest in this, too, so I'll likely drag my boyfriend along for this one. It's nestled in some of the prettiest Wisconsin countryside, making even the drive out there a real pleasure.

be merry

7. After eating and drinking all these calories, I'd like to burn some of them off by biking some local trails I have yet to explore. First and second among them: Military Ridge State Trail and Badger State Trail. From either trail I can bike a nice loop away from and back to my house, eliminating the need to rack my bike. Because I don't have a rack.

8. A couple of my girlfriends and I have been know to cause quite a stir at the Epic Bombers games. If these are still on weekdays, I may have to instead settle for causing a similar scene at a Mallards game. Lucky for me, both crews play at Warner Park. That's called convenience, kids.

9. In Googling "cool stuff to do in Madison" I was not surprised to find canoeing and kayaking, and pleasantly surprised to find stand-up paddling. Wheee! I have relatively terrible balance, so let's also call this one "Swimming in a Madison Area Lake."

these might not be a bad idea

10. Located just 25 minutes away, Cave of the Mounds is known throughout the upper Midwest as the only place you can go where it's 50 degrees in summer. That sounds refreshing, and right up my geology-minded alley.

Can	Cambrian
Old	Ordovician	**Cave of	the Mounds**
Senators	Silurian
Demand	Devonian
More	Mississippian
Political	Pennsylvanian
Power	Permian
Than	Triassic
Junior	Jurassic
Congressmen?	Cretaceous
Tough	Tertiary	Pigeon Egg Omelets Make People Puke	Paleocene Eocene Oligocene Miocene Pliocene Pleistocene
Question	Quaternary	Heavily	Holocene

I did this from memory

11. Frank Lloyd Wright named his Spring Green, Wisconsin, home Taliesin, which is Welsh for shining brow, in reference to the building's location perched near but not atop a hill in the lovely countryside. He used the property and its accompanying fellowship as both classroom and laboratory, testing out themes and designs which would later resurface in public buildings and private residences. I could go on, and on, and on...

clockwise from top: Taliesin, some road, a pond, and those fields

... but suffice it to say that I'm a HUGE fan of Frank Lloyd Wright, because of in spite of his undeniable egomania. Though I visit the property every summer, and have toured the interior once, I'd like to go back and see it again.

12. Vilas Zoo probably has monkeys. I wouldn't know, because I've never been there. But I love monkeys. Especially the ones that are dogs named Monkey. So, the zoo makes the cut.

The problem with lists, especially those created over time, is that I always figure I'm missing something, so here's my catch-all.

13. Everything else. Like sitting on the Continental's outdoor patio with my girlfriends, enjoying the happy hour specials and great company. Sleeping with the ceiling fan whirling and the windows open during a wild summer thunderstorm...

that'll do

... while hopefully avoiding the direct path of any tornadoes, taking the dog for long walks along our neighborhood's tranquil wooded trails and across the scenic bluffs of Devils Lake, join friends to on the grassy yard of the state Capitol building during Concerts on the Square, watch Rhythm & Booms from the shores of Lake Mendota....

**This is neither the first nor the last time I put something on a list just for the satisfaction of crossing it off.

Why I Don't Dress Up for Halloween

In the early '90s, for two consecutive years, my parents choreographed the MOST AMAZING Halloween parties of all time ever in the history of the world and of all time.

For weeks leading up to Halloween, my brother, sister, and I all contributed to the preparations, but on the day of the event we participated in the fun along with a huge group of our friends. Here's what it was like to be invited to the Reynolds family Halloween party.

____________________________________________________________________

The littler kids -- my friends -- started arriving just after sunset, entering the two-car garage to find it completely transformed by decorations that divided the space into quadrants. We had a section for bobbing for apples (which were actually strung from rafters so nobody soaked their head in the 45-degree weather), an area where the gypsy (my sister) read fortunes, a mummy-wrapping space, snacks. That's all fine and good. Anyone could have parents who peel grapes in an attempt to make you think they're zombie eyeballs.

But when Egor, the limping, disfigured servant (my dad) called the names of a few friends, we eagerly lined up at the garage door to take a walk through the haunted yard. He gave us the preamble, describing the horrible deaths which had occurred on the premises and preparing us to meet the lingering souls.

Favoring his bad leg, Egor hunched along toward the back left corner of the yard where he pointed out a spooky graveyard, complete with headstones and GASP! THE COFFIN OPENED UP, revealing an undead neighbor boy with claws for hands who attempted to creep toward us.

Egor corralled us toward the opposite corner of the yard where a mowed path twisted into the dark recesses of a wooded area. Cackling with delight, he encouraged one of the girls to lead the group around a blind corner and EEEEK! A witch with green skin and a peaked cap leapt out from among the brambles, grasping at our clothes and laughing a mad hysterical laugh.

After recovering his rightful place at the front of the group, Egor shepherded us along the path. Our group slowly approached a small house, ablaze with fire, where gory disfigured people fell from the windows, screaming as the descended toward the ground.

At wits' end, my friends and I finally followed Egor out to the clearing of the yard, thankful to have the safety of the garage within sight once again when ZABLAM! A vampire fell foward from an upright casket cackling and threatening to suck our blood... bla ahh ahh.

As recently as my 10-year high school reunion, a childhood friend still asked if 1) I remembered these parties, and 2) if my parent were still throwing these parties. I do, and they're not... since they've been divorced for about 18 years.

Now, when my workplace holds an annual costume contest, I have to wonder if my dress-up reticence stems from having had such an exceptionally good childhood experience with Halloween.

I peaked early.