summer bucket list

Every summer, Madison undergoes a dramatic transformation: most students leave town to spend the summers elsewhere. Grown-ups across the area reclaim the city and every glorious event and activity it has to offer. In an effort to capitalize...

get it?

... on the coolest of the cool stuff available to us, I made a summer bucket list and broke it down into three convenient categories: eat, drink, and be merry.

eat

1. The Dane County Farmers Market professes to be the largest in the country. Amen, Sconnies. Most summer Saturdays you'll find me strolling the sidewalks and interacting with vendors and fellow food shoppers (including buyers for Madison's best restaurants).

2. I love grilling food, especially lemons along with with any type of fish...

this was grilled trout and lemons

... so this summer's Bucket List includes many opportunities to indulge that hobby.

drink

3. The Grumpy Troll, a locally famous brew-pub located in Mt Horeb, WI, has a reputation for excellent beers, food, and service. Best of all, it's conveniently located among some of the country's best road-biking trails and country roads. More on road biking later.

4. New Glarus is just 15 minutes away, is the home to a well-known brewery, and last weekend the quaint little town hosted a BBC (Beer, Bacon, and Cheese) Festival. My friend Johnny's bacon-making start-up, Ppork, secured a booth so a couple girlfriends and I stopped by to show our support and taste some awesome food. Crossed one off the summer bucket list already!**

mmmbacon

5. University of Wisconsin famously has one of the best outdoor drinking establishments known to humankind: Memorial Union Terrace. Let's go listen to some rad live music and watch the sun set behind sail boats.

Oh, and they allow Monkeys! 

6. Wollersheim Winery offers tours and tastings at very reasonable prices. (We're talking $2 to $5!!!) John expressed interest in this, too, so I'll likely drag my boyfriend along for this one. It's nestled in some of the prettiest Wisconsin countryside, making even the drive out there a real pleasure.

be merry

7. After eating and drinking all these calories, I'd like to burn some of them off by biking some local trails I have yet to explore. First and second among them: Military Ridge State Trail and Badger State Trail. From either trail I can bike a nice loop away from and back to my house, eliminating the need to rack my bike. Because I don't have a rack.

8. A couple of my girlfriends and I have been know to cause quite a stir at the Epic Bombers games. If these are still on weekdays, I may have to instead settle for causing a similar scene at a Mallards game. Lucky for me, both crews play at Warner Park. That's called convenience, kids.

9. In Googling "cool stuff to do in Madison" I was not surprised to find canoeing and kayaking, and pleasantly surprised to find stand-up paddling. Wheee! I have relatively terrible balance, so let's also call this one "Swimming in a Madison Area Lake."

these might not be a bad idea

10. Located just 25 minutes away, Cave of the Mounds is known throughout the upper Midwest as the only place you can go where it's 50 degrees in summer. That sounds refreshing, and right up my geology-minded alley.

Can	Cambrian
Old	Ordovician	**Cave of	the Mounds**
Senators	Silurian
Demand	Devonian
More	Mississippian
Political	Pennsylvanian
Power	Permian
Than	Triassic
Junior	Jurassic
Congressmen?	Cretaceous
Tough	Tertiary	Pigeon Egg Omelets Make People Puke	Paleocene Eocene Oligocene Miocene Pliocene Pleistocene
Question	Quaternary	Heavily	Holocene

I did this from memory

11. Frank Lloyd Wright named his Spring Green, Wisconsin, home Taliesin, which is Welsh for shining brow, in reference to the building's location perched near but not atop a hill in the lovely countryside. He used the property and its accompanying fellowship as both classroom and laboratory, testing out themes and designs which would later resurface in public buildings and private residences. I could go on, and on, and on...

clockwise from top: Taliesin, some road, a pond, and those fields

... but suffice it to say that I'm a HUGE fan of Frank Lloyd Wright, because of in spite of his undeniable egomania. Though I visit the property every summer, and have toured the interior once, I'd like to go back and see it again.

12. Vilas Zoo probably has monkeys. I wouldn't know, because I've never been there. But I love monkeys. Especially the ones that are dogs named Monkey. So, the zoo makes the cut.

The problem with lists, especially those created over time, is that I always figure I'm missing something, so here's my catch-all.

13. Everything else. Like sitting on the Continental's outdoor patio with my girlfriends, enjoying the happy hour specials and great company. Sleeping with the ceiling fan whirling and the windows open during a wild summer thunderstorm...

that'll do

... while hopefully avoiding the direct path of any tornadoes, taking the dog for long walks along our neighborhood's tranquil wooded trails and across the scenic bluffs of Devils Lake, join friends to on the grassy yard of the state Capitol building during Concerts on the Square, watch Rhythm & Booms from the shores of Lake Mendota....

**This is neither the first nor the last time I put something on a list just for the satisfaction of crossing it off.

little kid sick

I wrote this a couple weeks ago while home sick with strep throat, where I got bored after about two hours. So here you go. A reflection on how I get sick like a little kid.

_____________________________________________________________________

the late '80s

I recall as a kid of about 8 or 9 I occasionally suffered from croup, which is a horrible barking cough and airway constriction typically afflicting infants 6 months of age and children around 5-6 years of age. It's awful. I have vivid memories of waking up unable to breathe and my mom rushing me to the bathroom, slamming the door, and blasting the shower on hot-hot-hot till the small room filled with steam to provide me with some relief.

But I'm not here to dwell on that.

I've had my 30th birthday a couple of times now. And I still get sick like a little kid.

August 1997

In the weeks leading up to my departure for college, I came down with a sore throat which led to tonsillitis which led to an anaphylactic reaction to penicillin which led to a week-long stay at Childrens Hospital of Wisconsin. (Which also led to two subsequent hospitalizations -- one for the tonsillectomy and one for the hemorrhages which followed.)

I was 17 years and 50 weeks old -- by far the oldest kid in the hospital -- so I was also the only patient awake and watching TV at 11:00p on August 31 when breaking news interrupted Saturday Night Live to announce the passing of Princess Diana. The nurses crowded into my room to watch the continuous updates until thankfully I fell asleep. (That was a long night for us, since my IV had infiltrated my arm muscle tissue causing a great deal of pain and swelling. Scary.)

November 22, 2007

Thanksgiving Day. My family had a great time celebrating the holiday together. When all the dishes were cleared and the living room tidied up, I remember getting ready to go to bed and having a scratchy throat. My dad gave me some NyQuil and everyone called it a night. The next morning, I prepared to return home and basically felt alright.

By the evening of Saturday, November 24, however, things had deteriorated. I had a 104-degree fever (!!!!!) and the most excruciating cough imaginable. The pain radiated.

Every time I coughed, I pressed the heels of my hands into my eye sockets TO KEEP MY EYES FROM POPPING OUT.

I love Marty Feldman, and do not want to look like him.

Perhaps, in hindsight, that should have been a cue that I was a little delirious.

All my friends were out of town, home with their families. I texted several and nobody was available to take me to the hospital.

In a moment of obvious wisdom, I told one friend, "That's cool. I'm just going to walk [my dog] Sydney [outside... in Wisconsin... in November...]. If -- when I get back inside -- I still have a fever, then I'll go to the hospital."

Perhaps it goes without saying, but I returned from that walk (during which I was really, really inappropriately dressed in a tank top and shorts) and still had a raging fever, so I grabbed my car keys and headed straight to the Meriter ER.

Where I promptly started disrobing.

I was SO HOT. Sweating through my pants and long-sleeved shirt.

I had what you'd call a "sweaty face".

The registrar leaned across the desk and calmly said, "Whoa whoa whoa, honey. Why don't you sit right here for a minute." She took a little information from me, escorted me to an ER bay, and I was basically treated properly.

The diagnosis: mycoplasma pneumonia. You know, the kind that kids get.

Honestly. I get it. I'm not what you'd call mature in some ways, but even the way I get sick is immature.

flossing

I floss every day, usually while driving to work in the morning using those little floss stick thingies.

That seems like good multi-tasking. And, from what I've heard read on the internet learned, good oral hygiene can help protect my heart health. Interesting. From WebMD.com:

According to the American Academy of Periodontology, 

people with periodontal disease are almost twice as likely to have 

coronary artery disease (also called heart disease). 

And one study found that the presence of common problems in the mouth, 

including gum disease (gingivitis), cavities, and missing teeth, 

were as good at predicting heart disease as cholesterol levels.

Here's my opinion on the matter. Good oral hygiene is likely an indicator of other healthy habits. People who brush and floss daily and visit the dentist regularly may also be more likely to get good sleep, drink enough water, exercise, and eat right. 

I brush mah tooth with this here moonshine

Healthy teeth doesn't result from or lead to a healthy heart. In other words, I don't believe there's a cause-and-effect relationship. 


I could be wrong. There could be no correlation. But I bet I'm not wrong.

Destroyed like

I just destroyed my first weight loss goal...

... like Harry Potter with a horcrux, or
     ... like a border collie with a plush toy, or
          ... like Charlie Sheen and a lucrative TV career, or
               ... like Buffy does in a vampire, or
                    ... like a chubby girl with a bag of Tostitos, or
                         ... like American Idol and pop culture, or
                              ... like a desperate housewife and her best friend's marriage, or
                                   ... like Greece and their economy, or
                                        ... like a hangover with an early-morning flight, or
                                             ... like Ryan Reynolds in the role of the Green Lantern, or
                                                  ... like bleaching a perfectly good head of curly brown hair, or
                                                       ... like video killed the radio star.

33 fatty-patties* gone!

Apparently I achieved this milestone sometime last week while I wasn't even paying attention (to the scale). I'm now no longer carrying around weight equivalent to 4 gallons of water, 10 cans of crisco, a young grizzly bear, or an adult Welsh corgie.

I mean, he's cute and all, but I don't need him strapped to my thighs anymore.

Here are a few things that absolutely make a difference for me:

• A consistent workout schedule (more on this in an upcoming article) with a great workout buddy, Carissa
• Bringing my lunch to work every day
• Eating five small meals a day
• No drinking on school nights (for the most part)
• No food after 7:00p
• MyFitnessPal.com which, between the website and the app, provide me with daily motivation, accountability, support, and tools

I plan to celebrate this milestone not with more stuff, but rather with an experience that will reinforce my hard work.

Two options come to mind: a 60-minute massage or a weekend trip to Devils Lake. The massage would certainly feel good on some sore muscles, and the weather this Sunday should be quite nice for this time of year. Hm. Maybe both.

*pounds

Spoiled Brat Code

Act 1
Scene 1

GENERIC OFFICE CUBICLE: MID AFTERNOON 

The setting: It's a dark and stormy November day near Madison, Wisconsin. 

Siobhan sits at her desk, updating her status on My Fitness Pal. She's lamenting the fact that Mother Nature didn't consult the published workout schedule before deciding to rain out today's outdoor 23-minute, 3.5 mile-per-hour walk.

SIOBHAN

(mildly annoyed, righteous)

I don't own an umbrella. Usually precipitation in this state (Wisconsin) falls as snow, which I plan on walking in. Also, I went to a 60-minute Body Pump class this morning and am going to a 60-minute Spinning class this evening, so I should be good. Was looking forward to it more for the change of scenery and fresh air instead of being stuck at my desk all day....

SIOBHAN 

(sheepishly)

(That is all spoiled-brat code for thank you for the umbrella suggestion but I really just wanted to bitch about the weather.)

HUNTER

(mystified)

I need to read more about this mystical spoiled-brat code you speak of. Somehow I think my daughter found the code and is hiding it from me.

CARISSA

(knowingly)

Sorry to break this to you, Hunter, but girls are hand delivered that code around age 3 by our fairy godmothers. Boys are just expected to deal with it the rest of their lives.

HUNTER 

(still mystified)

Carissa, someone delivered the code to my daughter at 16 months and that probably explains why she's mastered it already. Thanks for the head's up though

How NOT to Lose 2 Pounds a Week: Under-eat

Recently I moved. As in house. Admittedly, I didn't move very far, but I did move all of my stuff by myself (with the exception of my TV and media cabinet). Boxes, dressers, even my couch.

Appreciate your help, Bon. Happy to help, Bhan.

In doing so, I managed to burn a lot more calories than I had time and energy to consume. We're talking about upwards of 5000 extra calories. For me, a calorie counter, that's as bad of news as if I'd gone over by as much.

Even with putting two weeks between weigh-ins, my weight loss reached a grand total of 1 pound. And that might be a bit generous.

FRUSTRATION! 

In hindsight, I chalk this lack of progress up to the fact that I was under-eating for several consecutive days.

There are two schools of thought on this topic.

1. Eat most or all of your calories burned through exercise
2. Eat back about 1/2 of them. 

I subscribe to the first concept.

My calorie limit stands at 1470/day, calculated based on my current and goal weight along with my preferred weight loss pace. I have to reach 1470 calories per day in order to lose 2 pounds per week. If I burn 300 calories through exercise, I eat back about the same amount.* For me, under-eating caused me to hit a brief weight loss plateau.

Under-eating doesn't bring me closer to my goal.

*For days when I'm coming in under my goal, I eat one or two spoonfuls of peanut butter. Jif, extra-crunchy. Yum.

"My Rock Bottom: There Wasn't One"

After extensive research* it would appear that everyone who needs to make a lifestyle change does so only after hitting rock bottom.

Unfortunately for you, dear reader, I don't have a dramatic story for you about how I hit rock bottom and started reversing the weight-gain trend.

Nobody asked me how far along I was. 

There wasn't an "I can't zip my favorite pants" epiphany.

I didn't find myself with a fistful of nachos dripping down my chin and think, 'I've gone too far.'

Instead, my turn-around was -- much like my weight gain -- quiet and gradual. Over the last summer, every morning I would enthusiastically think, 'I'll go for a run tonight!' But, without fail, by the time I got home I was simply out of steam. Genius that I am, one day I just decided to capitalize on my morning energy and go for a sunrise run.

Goes with my "just start" philosophy. Simple enough.

*I Binged it and glanced at one article.

Frieday and Faturday

You may have heard, noticed, or read that I'm working on losing 2 pounds a week. During an upcoming annual check-up with my doctor, I'll determine a healthy goal weight. In the meantime, I keep truckin' along with a balanced diet and regular workout schedule.

But let's be honest. My intake goal is only 1500 calories per day. That's not very much to start with, and I "earn back" calories by burning them through exercise. As you can see in this illustration, I am pretty regularly coming in under target.

My Fitness Pal view of one week's worth of calorie consumption

There comes a time -- about once a week -- when I consider all those hard-earned, saved-up calories, I do a little Girl Math, and contemplate really fun ways to spend them. There's only one solution.

Frieday or Faturday

One day a week I indulge. I mean REALLY indulge. 1500 extra calories goes a long way to satisfying the fat kid in my soul. (Update 10/10/2011: Turns out, according to this article on MSN.com, scheduled indulgences are a key factor in long-term healthy weight maintenance. Thanks, Megan, for the hot tip!)

Nachos? Sure.

Beer? Absofreakinglutely.

Collection of bottles on display at the Guinness Storehouse in Dublin, Ireland. March 2009.

French fries? Double the order and give me a side of mayo.

As long as I stay within my budget, on Frieday or Faturday I simply don't overthink my meal planning and this actually helps me stay on track. Conveniently, my Faturday falls on the weekend which is when I take time for more intensive workouts anyhow. So, after doing more girl math, I still come out ahead.

The message is this: don't deprive yourself. 

For me, my weight loss is definitely the result of a lifestyle change and not a diet. By allowing regularly scheduled indulgences that remain within bounds, I'm guaranteeing my own continued success and vastly reducing the risk of falling off the wagon.

Stay on the wagon.

A Date with John Doe

On a recent rainy Sunday I went on a date with John Doe.*

John and I met online, because my profile is beguiling. (His words, not mine.) We exchanged a number of emails via said dating site and eventually graduated to a couple phone calls and a few text messages.

One of these communiques contained an invitation for a first date.We ironed out the details and, though the Saturday turned out downright blustery (as you will... it's autumn in Wisconsin), I looked forward to meeting someone new, seeing something new, and -- let's be honest -- leaving the house on the weekend. He suggested we go museuming.

Skinny jeans, check. Tall boots and suitably insulated socks, check. Hair down and curly, check. Short-sleeved sweater which SCREAMS Siobhan, check.

When I got downtown, I struggled to find a parking spot. Apparently the Overture had an event and my truck is too tall to fit in the other parking garages. A couple circles around the Kohl Center and BINGO. Free street parking.

alarm #1

We connected on the corner of University and Lake. He had said he was 5'8", but in reality he was 5'7" which makes him noticeably shorter than me. Doesn't that qualify as LYING? Well, whatever. I don't discriminate (against college-educated, unmarried men with straight teeth living in Madison...).

John and I walked a couple blocks to the Chazen Museum of Art, which, I'm now convinced, is the most underrated gem in the Madison area. He and I were off to a good start: John was a complete gentleman who let me set the pace (very, very slow in museums) and we politely chit-chatted about the exhibits until I turned a corner on the third floor and saw THIS...

Untitled 1968 by Mark Rothko

... a painting which rendered me speechless. Since 2002, when I received a calendar featuring 12 of his prints as a Christmas gift, Mark Rothko has been my favorite painter. I mean FAVORITE. As in, you can take the rest of your visual artists and shove 'em.As in, I have 13 of his prints hanging prominently in my living room and about a dozen more of my own pieces inspired by Rothko's style.

'Take Me to the River' by Siobhan Reynolds

Well played, John Doe. Well played. You may not have planned for my reaction -- unless you are a very clever stalker -- but it was a good one.

After a quick stroll through the scant exhibits in the Madison Museum of Contemporary Art, we decided on an early dinner at a Thai restaurant. The shabbiest, musty-smellingest restaurant possibly ever allowed in Madison, a true foodie city.

Never go to

Vientiane Palace Restaurant II

The lemonade was disease-my-pancreas sweet, the floor was sticky, and the food was forgettable. Nevertheless, John and I had a nice conversation about our families and hobbies.

Alarm #2 

John mentioned having in the past enjoyed dinner parties with friends who have all since gotten married and had children. I casually suggested he host the party. He reacted strongly: "Nooooo. No. No way. Nuh uh." Turns out he shares a house with a friend who happens to be a hoarder. 

I spent $500 on  invested in  named my vacuum Tyson the own a Dyson and pride myself on keeping an orderly home. How could he stand living with a hoarder? I filed this fact about him under 'things to remember when declining a second date.'

After dinner, John walked me back to my free parking spot, gave me a hug, and said he would call. Which he did. And texted. And after four days of not hearing from me he finally broke up with me (huh?) via email. Somehow I just don't feel like I got dumped.

Dude, I'm just not that into you.

*More or less not his real name.

How to Lose 2 pounds a Week: The Meal Plan

* Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nutritionist, or professional lifestyle coach

**Unless by 'professional' you mean 'gets paid' in which case you might make the argument that I do get paid in beer sometimes and am therefore at least an unprofessional lifestyle coach. 

When I stopped traveling for work a year ago, I started thinking a lot more about efficient ways to prepare healthy meals for myself. What and when is the easiest way to shop for food? How can I reduce the number of times I'm washing dishes?

After trial-and-error, research, 12 consecutive weeks of 2-pound weight-loss, continual harassment by my lovely friend Elizabeth to JUST PUBLISH this article already, and much food shopping and preparation...

here's my meal planning guide to healthy eating

Prep ahead (on the weekends)

• Rinse and dry your vegetables
• Grill, roast, or saute your proteins and refrigerate
• Make 10 servings of brown rice (this takes about an hour, so while that's going, do the vacuuming or paint your nails or something)
• Make 5 servings of oatmeal and store in individual microwave-safe bowls to reheat in the morning
• Slice your cucumbers. Put half of a cucumber in each of five Ziploc snack-sized bags with a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese. Put the other half of your sliced cucumbers in a single baggie for salad assembly
• Count out five one-serving portions of peanuts or almonds and store in Ziploc snack-sized bags
• Hard boil a half-dozen eggs and refrigerate

Prep each morning

1. Drink 8 ounces of soy milk, especially if you've had a morning workout
2. Portion out your lettuce into a large Gladware container and top the salad with 1/5 of your pre-cut cucumber and diced protein
3. Assemble your lunchbag to include the salad, a hard-boiled egg, nuts, and one Ziploc of cucumber slices with Laughing Cow cheese
4. Microwave and eat your oatmeal
5. That's it. Easy, right?

See my grocery list article for a complete item-by-item breakdown of what to buy, organized by grocery store department.

____________________________________________________________________________

The Meal Plan

Breakfast

• 1c soy milk
• 1 serving whole (not instant) oatmeal

Mid-morning snack

• Water
• Hard-boiled egg or individually wrapped cheese

Lunch

• Water
• Salad with protein, cucumber, and dressing

Mid-afternoon snack

• Water
• Sliced cucumber with Laughing Cow cheese spread
• Peanuts or almonds

Dinner

• Water
• Grilled, roasted, or sauteed protein with veg and brown rice (optional)

____________________________________________________________________________

For those of you with a sweet tooth whose day wouldn't be complete without dessert, try making your own popsicles out of high-quality fruit juices (I recommend diluting it just a little) or have apple slices with a shmear of peanut putter.

I advocate a lot of water consumption -- not to the point of water intoxication (where your body's salts become so diluted that your muscles and vital organs, including your heart, no longer communicate properly with your brain and which can cause death) -- so keep that Nalgene bottle handy and drink about 8 ounces of room-temperature water 10 or 15 minutes before eating your meal. This will help prevent overeating and aid in digestion.

Tip: Keep your purse in the freezer

While watching Restaurant Impossible researching for my food blog (link: Dinner Over Easy), I learned food should remain at or below 40 degrees. The best way to get close to this is to make sure your entire lunch bag is cold.I accomplish this by keeping my lunch bag in the freezer with the two ice packs. This way, even my mid-afternoon snack stays cold. (Link: Amazon's attractive, purse-looking lunch bags for grown-ups.)

Remember to track your food intake on MyFitnessPal or whichever system you devised and which works for you. I pre-load my meals so at the end of the day I just make minor adjustments. Logging in once, rather than multiple times per day, also saves me a couple minutes.

What healthy food options do you enjoy? 

Can you envision this meal planning routine working 

for you and your family?

How do you cut meal-planning corners 

during a busy week?

How to Lose 2 Pounds a Week: Just Start

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nutritionist, or professional** lifestyle coach

Emotionally or physically sick people accidentally lose weight. The rest of us have to put in some effort. And we won't lose weight by thinking, talking, or reading about it.

Just start. Like, today. Like, now.

No - seriously. Why not right now? If you have reasons why now doesn't work for you, please email me your list of excuses explanations (bhangoes@gmail.com) so I can help you work through them. I've fallen prey to all of them at one point or another. Self-sabotage is my jam, man!

Popular explanations 

I have personally told myself 

inside my own head

Explanation: I don't know where to start.
Debunked: Keep reading. See how easy this is?

Explanation: I don't have the time.
Debunked: From this moment forward, I promise you don't have to invent the time to invest in a healthier lifestyle. We all have 24 hours a day. Aren't you inspired by the woman who has a toddler and five horses and two dogs and some deer and and a husband with a broken hand and a full-time job and a popular blog and a healthy workout schedule? She has just as many hours in a day as you do, and perhaps more enjoyment.

Enlist your ability to multitask (on a limited basis - not to drive and text). Instead of relaxing on the couch with your favorite TV show, watch it while you're on the elliptical. You'd be surprised what amazing programming is on early in the mornings, like The Nanny and reruns of Spongebob Squarepants. While you're out for a walk, take the dog along...

...read a book you've been meaning to start finish, or listen to music you enjoy, or have some FREAKIN' QUIET TIME FOR A CHANGE. Ahem.

Prepare food only a couple times a week, instead of multiple times a day. This will immediately and dramatically cut down on the time you spend making AND CLEANING UP AFTER meals. More on this later, in my upcoming How to Lose 2 Pounds article on meal planning.

Explanation: I don't have the money.
If you're like me, then you may have been diverting plenty of money toward less healthful, if not outright unhealthy, choices. Dinner out? SURE! $30. Drinks with friends? $25. Subs for lunch? $7. And before long... this:

Surprisingly, lettuce is not more expensive than Doritos and a portion of chicken isn't more expensive than a frozen dinner. I buy many items in bulk and now spend less on my monthly gym membership than I used to spend on take-out (read: unhealthy) food.

If you're not doing so already, make your meals at home. Healthy versions of your favorite restaurant foods are generally much less expensive.

Explanation: I'm not done doing weight-loss research yet.

Debunked: I was stuck trying to decide which workout was best, which 'diet' would work... all the while not actually doing any of them. Duh, Bhan. You don't get lean by reading (unless you're walking while reading). Once you start doing it, instead of trying to learn all about it, you will find out what types of health and wellness articles, blogs, and books interest you. This isn't to say you shouldn't learn what's safe and right for you; but don't let the impulse to research it prevent you from actually starting to do it. 

When you're ready, I strongly recommend Dr Bob Arnot's Revolutionary Weight Control Program. (Link: buy the book on Amazon.) This book helps me understand what to eat and when and why. The only issue I take with this book is the word 'revolutionary' in the title. In truth, Dr. Bob promotes a pretty intuitively healthy lifestyle. Eat whole grains, minimize processed carbs, that kind of thing. Revolutionary it ain't. Reinforcing good behavior it is.

Explanation: Ugh, I'll be hungry all the time.
Debunked: No you won't. Pinky swear. It's good to hate that feeling because it's your body saying you're running on fumes. If your car were running on fumes, you wouldn't try to make it go for another hour or two... or more.

Eat breakfast. Fill the tank with the right foods at the right times (which is frequently) and you will avoid the feeling of hunger. I currently eat more and more often than when I was rapidly gaining weight. So there. Debunked. More on how to avoid hunger in my Meal Planning article.

Explanation: I hate diets and they always fail.
Debunked: Can't debunk this one. They do fail. What I needed was a lifestyle change, something to sustain every single day for the rest of my life. So you're not going on a diet, mmmkay? It's not even about nutrition; it's about wellness.

When presented with a delicious-looking cupcake, don't say "I'm on a diet"; instead, say "no thanks" out loud and, to yourself, think 'That's not part of my wellness plan' and 'Leslie, you are a bitch for putting those on the counter right behind my cube so I have to hear about how delicious they are all day long.'

Explanation: I am (literally or figuratively) addicted to something unhealthy.
Debunked: The old me couldn't comprehend a world without burritos. God help me and my thighs if they came with a side of tortilla chips, rice, and beans. And a pitcher of margarita.

To literally - not figuratively - reset my physiology, I spent three weeks on a very restrictive no-carb diet (link: Mayo Clinic review of the Atkins diet). If you feel like you can't live without something unhealthy, try Atkins or South Beach for just a short period of time to get over the physiological cravings from which you're suffering.

To help you just start, 

Here are five simple steps that worked for me

Step 1
Join a website which offers nutrition and exercise tracking a community forum-like setting. Choose one with an accompanying smartphone app if you have a data plan.

Throughout every day I use MyFitnessPal (my username is bhangoes so friend me!). I also registered with Livestrong (username: bhangoes) and LoseIt to see which one works best for me. The community support at MyFitnessPal compensates for a few pieces of missing functionality, like more granular reporting and more user-friendly GUI. WHOA! SaaS project manage much, Bhan?

Step 2

Effective immediately, as in the next thing you consume, read all nutrition labels. With the exception of fruits and vegetables, if it doesn't have a nutrition label, don't eat it. (Sorry, Leslie, those cupcakes did look delicious....)

Just because I didn't look at the nutrition label on the back of a bag of Doritos doesn't mean they didn't have a detrimental impact on my lifestyle. I ate the whole bag. THE WHOLE BAG. I ate it in one binge session. Similarly, I used to also think if you eat a brownie while standing up, or if you shake off the crumbs, it had no fat or calories. Also not true.

I guess, in general, stop kidding yourself.

Step 3

Share the news with the world! Saying makes it true. Tell everyone, or tell a confidant, but make it be known to someone other than yourself that today you're making a change. Tell him/her/them what you weigh today and what your goal weight is, or tell them you're working on getting fit. Don't be surprised when your loved one(s) rally behind you. And that feels awfully good. You might even inspire your friends to make positive changes, too... and then end up writing a blog about your successes and struggles. But again, tell as few or many people as much or as little as makes you comfortable.

Don't get me wrong: this step isn't about accountability. It's about making this change an indelible part of your thoughts. Just like writing something down helps you remember, saying it aloud will reinforce the new path you're on.

Step 4
Document it. Even if today you don't actually make any different food choices, today start tracking your food. Paper is good. Websites are better. Smartphone Apps are best. Worst case, write it down and transfer your intake later to a website of your choice. Do this at least once a day.

Every morning I pre-load my app with what I know I'll eat for most of my snacks and meals. It's like looking at the hour-by-hour forecast so you have a general idea of what your day will look and feel like.

Step 5
On your next trip to the grocery store, shop only the perimeter. Nothing actually edible can be found down the aisles. Keep a running grocery list on your phone rather than on paper, if possible. This way it's always with you when it occurs to you in the middle of a work meeting that you're out of orange juice. Organize your grocery list by section of the store you visit most often.

Try to buy ingredients rather than pre-processed foods. More grocery list and meal planning ideas in my upcoming articles.

A bit of debunking

And a few steps to get you started

These aren't unattainable goals. You can implement each of these today. Like, now. You probably know me personally and know it's working for me. None of this is rocket science, and none is time-consuming or expensive. You can fit any or all of these changes into your life. Like, today. And now that you're officially done reading about wellness (for the time being)...

JUST START.

**Unless by 'professional' you mean 'gets paid' in which case you might make the argument that I do get paid in beer sometimes and am therefore at least an unprofessional lifestyle coach.

Welcome to my (work) neighborhood

In my past life, I used to drive to the airport most Monday afternoons. Often, especially in nice weather, I'd see folks from the surrounding office parks out for a lunchtime stroll. I'd think to myself, 'Bhan, that looks nice.' I'm here to assure you it is. 

Every day around noon I walk a 1.5-mile route through the neighborhood around my workplace. Usually a coworker accompanies me; sometimes I make calls to friends who don't work, figuring they might have time mid-day to chat. (Ahem... Regan. Call me back, bro!)

Along the way, I encounter interesting people, lovely sights, and one very special dog.

Meet Emma, whose parents graciously let her enjoy the fresh air from within their fenced yard. When she sees me approaching, Emma freaks out in her own understated way. I give her ears a scritch and coo at her for a moment before pressing on.

Farther down the block, I pass a home which is clearly under construction. Building permit posted on a front window, ladders strewn about, temporarily mismatched windows, and stretches of missing siding. Nothing out of the ordinary about that... till you realize the resident(s) is (are) living in a tree house on the back of the property.

The route I walk features tree-lined streets with impeccably cared-for single family homes. All summer, I shared the sidewalks with kids on bikes and carefully stepped around chalk hopscotch games.

This town takes good care of public spaces, right down to these large planters. 

Nice, right? Wrong. AWESOME. The lovely chartreuse heart-shaped leaves draping over the side of the container is actually a small cluster of sweet potato plants (link: edible ornamental sweet potatoes). Last autumn, I happened to be out for a stroll when the city maintenance guy was swapping out the summer plants for fall trimmings. He harvested the sweet potatoes and was kind enough to give 5 or 10 pounds to my coworker and me. I promptly sliced mine and made a potato pizza.

Less of Me to Love

you may have noticed there's just less of me to love

(Sorry boys.) Since mid-June 2011, I've lost 18.8 implementer pounds, those gained while working a 75-hour-a-week job as a traveling monkey project manager. 

right now

I find the most success with adhering to the Atkins regimen (link: Mayo Clinic review) while using the My Fitness Pal website and accompanying iPhone app. Surprisingly, for me, Atkins doesn't mean eating burgers and bacon all day every day. Instead, I have 2 over-easy eggs for breakfast, a huge salad for lunch, and grilled veg and a protein for dinner. Not too different from any other healthy diet.

surprising side-effect

Maybe sometimes I might have had an occasional moment of acting short-tempered. Possibly. Now that I consume so few carbohydrates, I have zero mood swings. I have to believe there's a direct correlation. Lately, I border on sedated. Kinda boring, actually.

I do have a private target weight

This is superseded by my fitness goal, which is simply to be fit enough to run regularly this winter. In winters past (I mean waaay past) I would rack up 5-10 miles a night. Now, however, thanks to a few years of inactivity and overindulgence, my lungs need to acclimate to strenuous activity in these cool autumn temperatures or I risk some awful bouts with exercise-induced asthma. 

to achieve my goal

I've started wogging* (walk/jogging) every morning.** I can now wog farther than I could comfortably walk at the beginning of the summer. PROGRESS! The hills no longer intimidate me, but I am getting a little bored of my routes. ALSO PROGRESS! Time to map out a new route.

now, I'll be honest

Sometimes I get a little frustrated with how far I've come from the young, fit Siobhan. It pisses me off that I didn't start standing on scales when I was a healthy weight in college. Nip those first 5 extra in the bud. Take advantage of the hotel workout rooms while traveling for work. Maybe skip a few of those nights out downtown drinking -- and then over-eating -- with my friends. Avoid the snowball effect that brought me to that place.

the frustration doesn't last long

Someone wise once taught me a trick about stopping negative thoughts: consider your negative thoughts like search results for the term "Amazon." If you're looking for information about the river, you quite literally have to skip past the first page of results (which are all about Amazon.com). Acknowledge the negative thought(s) and then keep moving until you encounter a positive one. Latch onto that one. Act on that one. Remember that one. Next, next, next, DISCO! I remind myself that negative thoughts are unproductive at best, counterproductive or destructive at worst.

spend a LOT of time generally feeling good
In some small way I feel good about each of the little decisions I make about what I eat and how I feel when I exercise. Literally. Every little step is something to feel good about.

Um, the end.

*Not to be mistaken with swogging. More on that this winter.

**Extra bonus: an uber-happy border collie who loves running more than couch-napping