mmmcoffee

Coffee tastes better

In a personalized mug

With milk and sugar.

- Bhan blogs via IPhone are powered by BlogPress

I got a guy fer that

I'm like the Angie's List of the little things. Need a tailor? I got a guy fer that. Need your shoes repaired? I got a guy fer that.

Here's my list of Guys Fer That, tried-and-true resources who will get you through your week.

Q: Hey, Bhan, where do you get your shoes repaired?
A: Go see my guy Franco at Franco's Shoe Repair.

Website	doesn't have one
Phone	608-255-8020
Hours	bankers' (M-F @ 0900 - 1600)
Location	1213 Regent Street, Madison WI
Price	~$5 per pair, depending on the repair

Franco's is both easily missed and impossible to miss

Q: Hey, Bhan, where do you get your pants hemmed/zippers replaced/dresses altered?
A: Go see my guys girls at Moments to Cherish.


These ladies do the kind of quality work you expect from... someone else. Like your grandmother. Pieces are usually ready for pick-up within a week. And it's conveniently located next to the Great Dane, so... you know... you can have a beer after you drop stuff off. (Call me!)

website	MomentsToCherishBridal.com
phone	(608) 274-5683
hours	normal business hours
location	2990 Cahill Main, Fitchburg WI
price	~$10 per article for clothing, and ask for a quote for dress alteration

Q: Hey, Bhan, where do you get waxed?
A: Go see my guy lady Beth at Escape du Monde.

You think this is TMI? It's probably one of the most-asked questions and most frequently talked-about topics among groups of girls. Or, at least among my group of girls.

Website	escapedomonde.com
Phone	608-273-6060
Location	5973 Executive Drive, Fitchburg, WI
Price	prices listed on website

it's exactly unlike this

Alright. Now on to a topic that won't make you boys barf.


Q: Hey, Bhan, who do you go to for awesome bacon?
A: Go see my guy 'n' his girl, Johnny and Lindsey, at PPORK. 

Website	facebook.com/PPORKBelly
Phone	none yet
Hours	TBD
Location	various Wisconsin festivals throughout the summer
Price	worth it

what kinda smoke do they use for reggae-cured, you ask? 

Q: Hey, Bhan, where do you buy your iPhone accessories?
A: Go see my guy friend Stephanie and her online store.

At one point or another, we've all limped along with a broken phone case. This was true for me until I learned about this little nugget. Fast shipping indeed!

Website	warehousebuys.net
Phone	online only
Hours	24x7
Price	way cheaper than the retailers

Here are a couple actual screen shots to illustrate the price gouging you experience when buying from The Other Guy....

$34.95 (!!!)

 ... compared to buying from my guy.

$23.18 YA HEARD

Q: Hey, Bhan, which vet do you take Monkey and George to?
A: Go see my guy, Dr Brynn Bruss, at Odyssey Vets.

Website	odysseyvetcare.com/
Phone	608-288-7838
Hours	M-Th @ 0800 - 2000, F @ 0800 - 1800, Sa @ 0900 - 1300
Location	2934 Chapel Valley Road, Fitchburg WI
Price	varies based on service

He's the most knowledgeable, patient, and kind vet I've ever worked with. (And I'm not just saying this because he reads this blog.) He truly empowers me to be a better pet parent. Over the last 6 years, Dr Bruss helped me keep Sydney comfortable in his final days and was by my side during the euthanasia. I now take both Monkey and George to see Dr Bruss and I think we can all agree my wee ones are the best (and healthiest!) around.

Monkey: "Can you even see me?"
George: "I'm planning your demise."

Q: Hey, Bhan, you look so relaxed. Where do you go for a good massage? 
A: Go see my guy, Dave, at Massage Envy.

Website	massageenvy.com/clinics/WI/Fitchburg.aspx
Phone	(608) 663-1900
Hours	Su @ 1000 - 1800, M-F @ 0800 - 2200, Sa @ 0800 - 1800
Location	6231 McKee Road, Fitchburg, WI
Price	membership fees < walk-in fees

I opt for a one-hour sports massage, which isn't too deep-tissue (there are no heroes on a massage table) and incorporates stretching and range of motion. It's truly excellent.

Whether you need your your bacon cured or your stress relieved... I got a guy fer that. And tell him/her/them that I sent ya.

notebook

I never will use

the first page of a notebook.

No graphite smudges! 

also, I use graph paper notebooks

summer bucket list

Every summer, Madison undergoes a dramatic transformation: most students leave town to spend the summers elsewhere. Grown-ups across the area reclaim the city and every glorious event and activity it has to offer. In an effort to capitalize...

get it?

... on the coolest of the cool stuff available to us, I made a summer bucket list and broke it down into three convenient categories: eat, drink, and be merry.

eat

1. The Dane County Farmers Market professes to be the largest in the country. Amen, Sconnies. Most summer Saturdays you'll find me strolling the sidewalks and interacting with vendors and fellow food shoppers (including buyers for Madison's best restaurants).

2. I love grilling food, especially lemons along with with any type of fish...

this was grilled trout and lemons

... so this summer's Bucket List includes many opportunities to indulge that hobby.

drink

3. The Grumpy Troll, a locally famous brew-pub located in Mt Horeb, WI, has a reputation for excellent beers, food, and service. Best of all, it's conveniently located among some of the country's best road-biking trails and country roads. More on road biking later.

4. New Glarus is just 15 minutes away, is the home to a well-known brewery, and last weekend the quaint little town hosted a BBC (Beer, Bacon, and Cheese) Festival. My friend Johnny's bacon-making start-up, Ppork, secured a booth so a couple girlfriends and I stopped by to show our support and taste some awesome food. Crossed one off the summer bucket list already!**

mmmbacon

5. University of Wisconsin famously has one of the best outdoor drinking establishments known to humankind: Memorial Union Terrace. Let's go listen to some rad live music and watch the sun set behind sail boats.

Oh, and they allow Monkeys! 

6. Wollersheim Winery offers tours and tastings at very reasonable prices. (We're talking $2 to $5!!!) John expressed interest in this, too, so I'll likely drag my boyfriend along for this one. It's nestled in some of the prettiest Wisconsin countryside, making even the drive out there a real pleasure.

be merry

7. After eating and drinking all these calories, I'd like to burn some of them off by biking some local trails I have yet to explore. First and second among them: Military Ridge State Trail and Badger State Trail. From either trail I can bike a nice loop away from and back to my house, eliminating the need to rack my bike. Because I don't have a rack.

8. A couple of my girlfriends and I have been know to cause quite a stir at the Epic Bombers games. If these are still on weekdays, I may have to instead settle for causing a similar scene at a Mallards game. Lucky for me, both crews play at Warner Park. That's called convenience, kids.

9. In Googling "cool stuff to do in Madison" I was not surprised to find canoeing and kayaking, and pleasantly surprised to find stand-up paddling. Wheee! I have relatively terrible balance, so let's also call this one "Swimming in a Madison Area Lake."

these might not be a bad idea

10. Located just 25 minutes away, Cave of the Mounds is known throughout the upper Midwest as the only place you can go where it's 50 degrees in summer. That sounds refreshing, and right up my geology-minded alley.

Can	Cambrian
Old	Ordovician	**Cave of	the Mounds**
Senators	Silurian
Demand	Devonian
More	Mississippian
Political	Pennsylvanian
Power	Permian
Than	Triassic
Junior	Jurassic
Congressmen?	Cretaceous
Tough	Tertiary	Pigeon Egg Omelets Make People Puke	Paleocene Eocene Oligocene Miocene Pliocene Pleistocene
Question	Quaternary	Heavily	Holocene

I did this from memory

11. Frank Lloyd Wright named his Spring Green, Wisconsin, home Taliesin, which is Welsh for shining brow, in reference to the building's location perched near but not atop a hill in the lovely countryside. He used the property and its accompanying fellowship as both classroom and laboratory, testing out themes and designs which would later resurface in public buildings and private residences. I could go on, and on, and on...

clockwise from top: Taliesin, some road, a pond, and those fields

... but suffice it to say that I'm a HUGE fan of Frank Lloyd Wright, because of in spite of his undeniable egomania. Though I visit the property every summer, and have toured the interior once, I'd like to go back and see it again.

12. Vilas Zoo probably has monkeys. I wouldn't know, because I've never been there. But I love monkeys. Especially the ones that are dogs named Monkey. So, the zoo makes the cut.

The problem with lists, especially those created over time, is that I always figure I'm missing something, so here's my catch-all.

13. Everything else. Like sitting on the Continental's outdoor patio with my girlfriends, enjoying the happy hour specials and great company. Sleeping with the ceiling fan whirling and the windows open during a wild summer thunderstorm...

that'll do

... while hopefully avoiding the direct path of any tornadoes, taking the dog for long walks along our neighborhood's tranquil wooded trails and across the scenic bluffs of Devils Lake, join friends to on the grassy yard of the state Capitol building during Concerts on the Square, watch Rhythm & Booms from the shores of Lake Mendota....

**This is neither the first nor the last time I put something on a list just for the satisfaction of crossing it off.

blogenre

Some many most blogs have a genre, a general topic about which the blogger can write with some authority. Recipes. Vegan recipes. Their homes and families. Home renovations. Healthcare IT. Themselves via Internet safety. And so on and so forth.

I have incredible readers and blog supporters. (I love you! *wink*) And there are a lot of you. When I started really thinking about it, I felt a little intimidated and got to wondering why the hell any of you read this. I mean, really.

My blog, unlike all those informative ones linked above, provides essentially no value. Not gonna learn anything here...

... and that's a promise.

I bounced this whole concept off my boyfriend. He said all the right supportive things and, the more we talked and I thought about it, the closer I came to a conclusion:

Other people's blogs are like the National Geographic or HGTV of blogs. 

Mine, on the other hand, is the USA Network of blogs.

USA Network isn't the channel you flip to when you want to enrich your life. But you might stop on an episode of NCIS for a while just to tune out the rest of the noise in your life.

So thanks for stopping by. There won't be a quiz. Click on all the ads.

20%

I'm going to drop a little Facts of Life...

you take the good, you take the bad... SING IT! 

...on you right now. Ready?

happiness = balance

I didn't invent that, alright? But I did realize that it's a little too vague to be useful. So, I did a little new-age Girl Math and determined that it's alright if approximately 20% of your life sucks.

Let me break it down for you.

1/5 of the things you own or do can be weird

After dating and dating and dating and dating and dating some more, I learned that a guy with a Star Wars Lego collection (that's weird, dude) is good dating material as long as he owns grown-up furniture, wears big-boy clothes, has some matching plates and utensils, and drives a decent* car.

Similarly, it's cool with me if he plays Dungeons and Dorklords (or whatever) when I learn that he also volunteers at a dog shelter, holds down a respectable job, calls his parents on their birthdays, and keeps a spreadsheet to balance his home budget.

1/5 of your family members can be odd

You have a mom who's off her rocker, but your dad and aunt and granny and brother are cool? Then you're cool, too.

1/5 of the things you say can be negative

Everyone bitches about work and friends and traffic. That's normal. But it's important to keep your negativity  in check. When someone asks you how your day is, give her this kind of answer: "Spilled my coffee all over these white pants, but my hair smells heavenly and my in-box is empty and these strawberries will be a great snack later and I just got a really nice text from my sister."

See? That's basically a positive response, even though you still had a chance to bitch about your stained pants.

you might be accused of being that guy

spend 1/5 of your time doing nothing

I basically mean it's alright to spend your otherwise-unscheduled time doing nothing. Watch Bravo. Paint your toe nails. Have a beer. Stare out the window.

Take a mental break.

You deserve it, what with all the lame stuff you do, crazy family members you have, and whining.


*Decent = clean and well-maintained, not necessarily expensive.

scooby snacks

You know how you live right across the street from a brew-pub so you join some friends for après-work pints and you get to chatting for so long that the kitchen has closed and you can't even get take-out, meaning you missed dinner altogether when all you wanted was a seven-layer burrito but the only Taco Bell is down the street and technically *everything* is considered out of the way because your house is RIGHT THERE and now you have to wait till tomorrow for nachos? Yeah, me too.

what kind of cheese? NACHO cheese

- Bhan blogs via IPhone are powered by BlogPress

Location:Home, Wisconsin

furniture refinished

I love projects. Well, specifically, I love FINISHING projects. A couple week ago, someone in my apartment complex left this cute little table in the mailbox area, free for the taking. I quickly adopted it. It had an awful dark-colored stain and varnish which gave it an old-fashioned feel. Can't have that in my clean-lines and mid-century modern-inspired home, so I decided to paint it.

step 1

I sat out on the balcony in my swim suit and hand-sanded the varnish and some of the stain off every millimeter of the surface. When that was done, I wiped the dust off with a couple damp paper towels and took a picture of the table with my beer for scale.

tres petite, non?

step 2
I covered my dining room table with a drop-cloth made of Shopper Stoppers -- to what better use could they be put? -- and retrieved my supplies, including a brush...

... and bright blue latex paint made by (and here's how shameless I am) Disney. They actually have a very nice line of super-saturated colors. I think the one I chose is called "Donald's Shirt Blue."

I, too, like to wear a hat and shirt with no pants

Upon close inspection of my flipped-over table, I discovered these ancient Masonic engravings. Probably pre-historical. Or, as my roommate and boyfriend claim, probably created when the spindle base was clamped into the carving tool. Whatever. I like my version better.

spooky, eh? 

step 3
Apply one coat of paint to the underside of the top, and to the spindle and each of the three legs.

step 4a
Keep an eye on Curious George.

step 4b
And if you can't do 4a, then be prepared for him to take a stroll across the wet paint...

George's balls

... and to then have his cute little footprints preserved in the paint forever...

tra la la, just taking a stroll across mommy's project

... but not in the carpet forever. Did you know the Bissell Spot Bot will take LATEX PAINT OUT OF CARPET if you get to it fast enough? That's a fact, Jack.

in ten minutes, the carpet was good as 6-months-old

step 5
Apply two more coats to the entire surface. I didn't take any pictures of this because IT WAS LIKE WATCHING PAINT DRY.

step 6
Apply a clear surface protector. I chose this Krylon high-gloss spray product. Follow the dang instructions, too. Turns out, applying one thick coat is not the same as applying several thin coats -- the stuff will drip.

any of the dads at your local hardware store can help you find the right product

Set a 10-minute timer between clear-coats. I applied about 3 total coats to the entire table.

when the Marimba alarm rings, I dance for a minute before shutting it off

step 7

And this is an important one, so pay close attention. Let the clear-coat cure for a little while, maybe an hour or two, while you sit by the pool reading a mediocre book.

yes, I did this whole project while wearing a swim suit

step 8
Take a slightly off-kilter photos of the finished project! I bought the lamp separates -- acrylic base and tweed shade -- at Target for about $30.

that's John's coffee cup, but not his torso (which is still attached to the rest of him, and is much larger)

here's a little closer view

and really, really close where you can see the texture I achieved by alternating directions of paint strokes

step 9
Figure out the cost of this little project

table	$0
sand paper	$3
paint	$8
paint brush	$4
beer	$7
total	$22

step 10
Happen to stumble across almost the EXACT SAME TABLE at Target, for sale for $59!!! Quickly do a little Girl Math and realize you now have $37 to spend!

SRSLY. Twinsies, right? 

fin.

yo dawg

Maybe you've heard of Xibit and his show, Pimp My Ride, where he and his car shop crew remade run-down 1987 Ford Escorts into barely street-legal rolling ridiculousosities full of speakers, grills, and gaming devices, like this...

... and this.

zoom zoom! 

When Xibit shows off the modifications to the car's owner, he starts most sentences with, "Yo dawg, I heard you like spoilers, so I put a spoiler on your spoiler."

My brother uses this expression in real life and calls it "yodawging". I spent the weekend trying to get the hang of it. So far this week I've used it twice.

1. My coworker mentioned her mom's upcoming Critter Festival where her family and friends cook "killed food" which usually entails relatively normal hunted food like venison and turkeys. But apparently there was a rodent on the table at one event.

"Yo dawg, I heard you like ground-up food so I ground up some ground hog and made you a burger."

I made this image. Copyright Siobhan. Ya heard? 

2. My life-long friend, Lauren, and her husband treated me to dinner in their home. Reu grilled up some burgers which contained little bits of bacon and cheddar cheese. He asked me if I wanted anything on it.

"Yo dawg, I heard you like cheese, so I put cheese in your cheeseburger so you can eat cheese while you're eating cheese."

Now, get out there and Yo Dawg your friends.

chair-a-holic

just stopped at Goodwill.

five dollars, ninety-nine cents.

I love my green chair.

- Bhan blogs via IPhone are powered by BlogPress