he said he said she said

Here's a non-fictional account of recent text exchanges that made that made me snort-laugh and cry-giggle. 

Cast of characters

Siobhan: she's had a hard workout followed by two fast glasses of cheap red wine

John: Siobhan's boyfriend. He's tall and adorable and they're in lurve

J.R.: One of Siobhan's favorite friends and a longtime coworker. He's gay, mmmkay, and is also friends with John

Act 1

in which Siobhan finds herself 

a little buzzed, and 

a little lonely, and 

a little far from home

Siobhan to John: Send me a picture of yourself.

John to Siobhan: << Insert sexy yet PG-13 shirtless pic. Fleece blankie visible in the corner >>

Act 2

in which Siobhan finds herself

attempting to provoke her friend 

into jealousy over her boyfriend

Siobhan to J.R.: I don't want you to be jealous of how hot my boyfriend is, but I really want to send you this pic.

J.R. to Siobhan: Please do! 

Siobhan to J.R.: << sends PG-13 shirtless pic of John to J.R.>>

J.R. to Siobhan (and. I. quote.): This may be the gayest thing you could hear: Are those fabric samples?

Siobhan to J.R.: Wait. You're gay?!? [I like to ask him that about once a week.]

J.R. to Siobhan: I thought maybe he was sending you a picture about his new appoulstry. [he means upholstery]

INTERMISSION

Act 3

in which Siobhan finds herself 

losing her boyfriend 

to her #1 gay

Siobhan to John: I had to send your pic to my closest girlfriend, JR. He responded by asking if those are fabric samples in the corner of the pic.

John to Siobhan: Did you explain that that is one of my quilts?

Siobhan to John: Oh my god, you two should be girlfriends. IT'S NOT ABOUT THE FABRIC! 

John to Siobhan: JR is cute. 

Siobhan to John: Stop it. 

Siobhan to J.R.: John wants you to know those are his special blankies. You two are going to be very happy together. 

fin.