Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Spoiled Brat Code

Act 1
Scene 1

GENERIC OFFICE CUBICLE: MID AFTERNOON 
The setting: It's a dark and stormy November day near Madison, Wisconsin. 

Siobhan sits at her desk, updating her status on My Fitness Pal. She's lamenting the fact that Mother Nature didn't consult the published workout schedule before deciding to rain out today's outdoor 23-minute, 3.5 mile-per-hour walk.

SIOBHAN
(mildly annoyed, righteous)
I don't own an umbrella. Usually precipitation in this state (Wisconsin) falls as snow, which I plan on walking in. Also, I went to a 60-minute Body Pump class this morning and am going to a 60-minute Spinning class this evening, so I should be good. Was looking forward to it more for the change of scenery and fresh air instead of being stuck at my desk all day....

SIOBHAN 
(sheepishly)
(That is all spoiled-brat code for thank you for the umbrella suggestion but I really just wanted to bitch about the weather.)

HUNTER
(mystified)
I need to read more about this mystical spoiled-brat code you speak of. Somehow I think my daughter found the code and is hiding it from me.

CARISSA
(knowingly)
Sorry to break this to you, Hunter, but girls are hand delivered that code around age 3 by our fairy godmothers. Boys are just expected to deal with it the rest of their lives.

HUNTER 
(still mystified)
Carissa, someone delivered the code to my daughter at 16 months and that probably explains why she's mastered it already. Thanks for the head's up though

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